What is Second Guessing Yourself and How to Stop

Every second of every moment there is some kind of stimulus we’re exposed to. There is always a thing to see, as there is always a sound to hear. And with the mind, without self-control (and mindfulness) we may very well be living minding, that is, giving attention to every little thought we think. With the ever-shifting thoughts and emotions that we may base our decisions on, how do we stick by our decisions? How can we stop second-guessing your decisions?

Thoughts and emotions are fleeting and they are not who we are, so basing our decisions on them may not serve our lives or serve us as an individuals. Thoughts and emotions are rooted in our upbringing and history, not our future.

For a future that is unlike the past, a better future, our decision-making needs to be based on a wholesome source that can conjure a bright future as it is not bound by the pains and traumas of the past. The spirit, which is the source of where our gut feeling and intuition are from. 

As a spirit, we can make decisions based on a reliable source. A source that is boundless and tremendously superior to thoughts and emotions. A source that is our spirit, which can also be our gut feeling, or intuition. When making decisions, some refer to their spirit as their gut feeling or intuition, but it’s all the same source.

It is important to have the relevant knowledge and understanding of what we are deciding on. With all the necessary information in mind, it is best to make that decision from our spirit, gut feeling, or intuition based on the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom we have.

However, it is most important to understand that our spirit and it leading us to our destiny is contingent on this spirit being one with the Spirit of God. Because then our spirit is led by the Divine, and as our spirit is the source for our the human, the source for the spirit is the biggest Holy Spirit that our spirit comes from.

Walking in our destined life’s journey, with the many decisions that are made daily, is truly only possible with the all-knowing and all-powerful Almighty God, who has made us like Him in being an eternal spirit, for the very reason that He may walk with us and talk with us, forever, if we so choose (Him).

Indeed, it is our choice to make regarding what leads us. Is it our mind? Our spirit alone? Which is good and better than the prior, but nothing comes close to being led by the Holy Spirit because then we are walking in the supernatural.

How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

But how do we even know we’re making decisions from our spirit (who may be one with God’s Spirit) instead of from unreliable thoughts and emotions? We know when there isn’t a question that comes up about the decision we’ve made. Our decisions may waiver if they’re based on ever-changing thoughts and emotions.

If a question is raised, that means something is not clear; there is uncertainty or confusion about the decision we’re about to make, which causes second-guessing after going on with making the decision anyway. We should Explore that question before making our decision so that there is no space to second guess ourselves after making the decision. 

Where there’s no uncertainty there’s no question; we should not ignore our questioning. The fact that it’s so normal for the question to rise is a sign that the question is rightfully there. This is how we learn to trust our spirit and gut feeling in leading our life in a way that is aligned with our destiny and who we are as an individual as by the Creator’s Spirit and design.

Take comfort in understanding that if a decision does not reap an expected result or reaped an unfavorable one according to your understanding, it does not mean it was not the right decision worth not second-guessing. This is the significance of being led by an all-knowing God because He knows what we don’t know, and He sees from beginning to end as He is not bound by time like we are.

What is An Example of Second Guessing?

Breaking up with a “good” guy who loves you may be hard and scary, and you may feel lonely, but this doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision because, say, God knows who your husband is, and you won’t be with him unless you’re emotionally and mentally unbound from another man. There may be many good guys, but does that mean they are all compatible with you? No.

Building a life with someone takes more than just their moral compass. It takes us being comfortable enough to un-guard our heart, spiritually. It takes us wanting them there and enjoying their presence because we like them so much. It takes them to give us what we didn’t even know we needed or deserved. It takes being seen and heard and forgiven consistently and not punished, etc. It takes love, not a decision from many choices. We don’t choose love, it chooses us.

Life is forever moving forward and thus every moment is new and unfamiliar. We may feel insecure about taking a decision, or a bold decision that we’re sure is the best to take, but that insecurity (unsureness) can just be unfamiliarity. The only cure for unfamiliarity is making the step into unfamiliarity and exploring it with courage so it evolves into familiarity and security.

Life is ever-changing from unfamiliar to familiar. Embrace it any chance you get. Remember that confidence only comes from doing something for the first time to doing it a tenth or more time. Confidence is the end goal of having done a thing more times than not.

May your mind be renewed, your faith be strengthened, and your peace be anchored in Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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