Mental Health: How to Stop Second Guessing Yourself
Every second of every moment there is some kind of stimulus you’re exposed to. There is always a thing to see, as there is always a sound to hear. And with the mind, without self-control you may very well be living minding, that is, giving attention to every little thought you think. With the ever-shifting thoughts and emotions that you may base your decisions on, how do you stick by your decisions? How can you stop second-guessing your decisions?
Thoughts and emotions are fleeting and they are not who you are, so basing your decisions on them may not serve your life or serve you as an individual. Thoughts and emotions are rooted in your upbringing and history, not your future. For a future that is unlike the past, a better future, your decision-making needs to be based on a wholesome source that can conjure a bright future as it is not bound by the pains and traumas of the past. The spirit, which is the source of where your gut feeling and intuition are from.
As a spirit, you can make decisions based on a reliable source. A source that is boundless and tremendously superior to thoughts and emotions. A source that is your spirit, which can also be your gut feeling, or intuition. When making decisions, some refer to their spirit as their gut feeling or intuition, but it’s all the same source. It is important to have the relevant knowledge and understanding of what you are deciding on. With all the necessary information in mind, it is best to make that decision from your spirit, gut feeling, or intuition based on the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom you have.
However, it is most important to understand that your spirit and it leading you to your destiny is contingent on this spirit being one with the Spirit of God. Because then your spirit is led by the Divine, and as your spirit is the source for you the human, the source for the spirit is this Bigger Holy Spirit that your spirit comes from. Walking in your destined life’s journey, with the many decisions that are made daily, is truly only possible with the all-knowing and all-powerful Almighty God, who has made you like Him in being an eternal spirit, for the very reason that He may walk with you and talk with you, forever, if you so choose (Him). Indeed, it is your choice to make regarding what leads you. Is it your mind? Your spirit alone? Which is good and better than the latter, but nothing comes close to being led by the Holy Spirit because then you are walking in the supernatural.
How to Ensure You Don’t Second-Guess Yourself
But how do you even know you’re making decisions from your spirit (who may be one with God’s Spirit by your choice) instead of from unreliable thoughts and emotions? You know when there isn’t a question that comes up about the decision you’ve made. Your decisions may waiver if they’re based on ever-changing thoughts and emotions. If a question is raised, that means something is not clear; there is uncertainty or confusion about the decision you’re about to make, which causes second-guessing after going on with making the decision anyway. Explore that question before making your decision so that there is no space to second guess yourself after making the decision.
Where there’s no uncertainty there’s no question; don’t ignore your questioning. The fact that it’s so normal for the question to rise is a sign that the question is rightfully there. This is how you learn to trust your spirit and gut feeling in leading your life in a way that is aligned with your destiny and who you are as an individual as by the Creator’s Spirit and design.
Take comfort in understanding that if a decision does not reap an expected result or reaped an unfavorable one according to your understanding, it does not mean it was not the right decision worth not second-guessing. This is the significance of being led by an all-knowing God because He knows what you don’t know, and He sees from beginning to end as He is not bound by time like you are.
For example
Breaking up with a “good” guy who loves you may be hard and scary, and you may be lonely, but this doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision because, say, God knows who your husband is, and you won’t be with him unless you’re emotionally and mentally unbound from another man. There may be many good guys, but does that mean they are all compatible with you? No.
Building a life with someone takes more than just their moral compass. It takes you being comfortable enough to un-guard your heart. It takes you wanting them there and enjoying their presence because you like them so much. It takes them to give you what you didn’t even know you needed or deserved. It takes being seen and heard and forgiven consistently and not punished, etc. It takes love, not a decision from many choices. You don’t choose love, it chooses you.
Life is forever moving forward and thus every moment is new and unfamiliar. You may feel insecure about taking a decision, or a bold decision that you’re sure is the best to take, but that insecurity (unsureness) can just be unfamiliarity. The only cure for unfamiliarity is making the step into unfamiliarity and exploring it with courage so it evolves into familiarity and security.
Life is ever-changing from unfamiliar to familiar. Embrace it any chance you get. Remember that confidence only comes from doing something for the first time to doing it a tenth or more time. Confidence is the end goal of having done a thing more times than not.
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