How Do You Be a Friend to Yourself?

Friendship is the foundation of all relationships. Friendship is an environment of lovingkindness. A friend’s presence can cure many kinds of ailments of the soul. Where there’s a friend there’s no loneliness, and where there is loneliness there is no friend.

We must consider ourselves our own friend so that there isn’t an environment for loneliness within us. Humanity cannot function and thrive without friendships, for that would mean a hostile environment for all. Even amongst strangers friendliness exists for all to share. Friendship is an atmosphere and an energy.

Can There Be Pure Friendship Between a Man and a Woman?

First and foremost: Only through and in Christ can a man and a woman have a pure friendship.

The world asks if a man and a woman, or those of opposite sex or opposite partner roles can be friends. Why of course they can. Our sexuality should not swallow our whole humanness. A human being owns their sexuality, their sexuality should not own them, for, being owned by our sexuality births sexual perversion. We may be sexual beings as a trait but as creatures we are spirit beings.

Sexual perversion is the doom of civilization. It is projecting one’s sexual energy to people when they do not relate or agree with it. Sexual perversion, which breeds sexual immorality, is a complete lack of self-control. Without self-control, one is as good as any animal in the animal kingdom. And there is nothing less attractive than the absence of self-control.

What Does it Mean to Be a Good Friend?

A friend is where we get truth and counsel, granted that our friends are chosen wisely, for we will become the company we keep. We become them because we absorb them. We meditate on them as we continue to have them in our ears and eyes and life. With a friend or friends, we create a culture. A culture of earnest truth and counsel, or a culture of foolishness.

A (trusted, true) friend can give us counsel because they have had a different life’s journey than us. All we know is our journey and our perspective, and we can become blinded from anything else. As a friend has had a different unique upbringing, they can see what we might not be able to see. They bring their unique and fresh perspective for our betterment and growth.

If we choose a friend according to how we want our character to be, and we want a good and worthy life to live, they will be a friend who corrects us with loving, earnest truth and counsel. When it comes to friends, it is imperative to choose quality over quantity.

Where there are “a lot of friends”, there are a lot of ways to be ruined as we are unable to attentively discern those relationships and see them for what they are. Where there are a few chosen friends, they will be like family to us.

This is why man and woman or those of opposite roles can remain friends because friendliness evolves into a deeper connection that transforms into brotherhood, sisterhood, and (chosen) family, which can be necessary for having a wholesome body of support and wellness.

The Importance of Good Friendships 

What good is a “friend” who is a doctor but doesn’t tell us the truth when we need it most? We do not need a friend who is this or that or has this or that. Once we crown someone our friend, in our being, our mind will allow us to be vulnerable and trusting to them, even if they don’t qualify to be our friend.

This is why faux friendship is dangerous and can be life-altering for the worse. When a person’s life is changed for the worse, it only takes one moment for them to be (rightfully) sentenced to life in prison, for example. It only takes one really bad decision. A decision that is made possible through their everyday meditation from their regular company. Quite literally, their future will be made by the company they keep.

Since we should be our own friend, the company we become for ourselves, what we do and say to ourselves, will certainly determine our future as well. Experts say research shows that people are lonely and without friends in this day and age.

This doesn’t need to be a bad thing. Perhaps we all need a clean slate for making new worthy friends. Especially because we will become that friend for ourselves first so that that’s who we truly are, a good friend from within.

May your mind be renewed, your faith be strengthened, and your peace be anchored in Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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