It is very easy to ruin our day by taking offence from even a mere stranger. I believe it is easier to take offense from a stranger because we don’t know the intentions of their heart, and there are billions of strangers.

We may know that friends and family have our best interest at heart, but this just means loved ones’ offence is taken deeper into our soul. It potentially doesn’t just ruin our day, for it can ruin the whole dynamic of the relationship if not even end the relationship.

What is Offense?

The first thing to know about offense is that it is subjective. What offends one person can mean nothing to the next person. This is why I link offense to personal pain and trauma. Offense can be perceived by an individual on the receiving end even with no intention to offend from the doer.

And it can be achieved by the doer having the intention to offend another. Therefore offense can happen in two ways. One way forces people to decide if the offense was intended by the doer through perception. Another way offence is achieved is by accepting offence regardless of intention.

What is the Root Cause of Offense?

I define offense as when an insecurity has been poked at and awakened. Offense is when a cord of inner discomfort, insecurity, and unawareness has been struck, and we’re left with no choice but to scream to the pain. Taking offense is a sign that we believe or are shaken by the matter at hand.

We react to the pain with deeply unpleasant emotions and thoughts which produce words and actions or reactions concerning those unpleasant emotions and thoughts. Offense is a choice. Each time we take offense is because we have picked offense as the best possible choice we can make at a given moment.

Why Do I Take Offense So Easily

Choosing offense is an easier choice to make than having to go within ourselves to find out why offense is a possibility regarding the matter at hand. It is harder to delve into our pain and its roots to heal it. It is harder to accept insecurity and recognize where the insecurity emerged.

It is easier to not go into our childhood, but to just say “This is how I am. This is who I am”. It’s easier to blame someone else for wronging us than to see the pain that makes us a target for hurting when the area is touched.

How to Not Take Offence Easily

Healing is the true answer to not taking offense. This is not a quick-fix article of not taking offense. This is true wholesome wellness knowledge with the longevity that sets the rest of our life up with the superpower of no one being able to offend us.

Think about it. When we’ve healed the insecurity with our body, and we love and appreciate that we’re getting older, love the marks on our body, or our shape and size and smile, when someone mentions these things with a negative tone that intends to offend, how could we possibly be offended when we love these states of our being?

We realise that people don’t ever have the power to offend us unless we give them that power by leaving ourselves vulnerable with unhealed wounds. Healing our wounds is healing our insecurities.

No, we don’t “all have insecurities” because I healed mine. Healing our insecurities is healing and raising our self-esteem. Having a healed self-esteem is an environment for confidence and security in being ourselves.

How to Not Be Offended

Confidence is not a feeling, it is a muscle that we build by doing things repetitively and embracing new ways of being and feeling to build up confidence there too. Confidence is the result of building that muscle of doing things enough times to be confident.

We are not confident because of how we do something, we are confident because we’ve done that thing so many times that we’ve gotten good at it, and therefore yielded being confident at it.

Let’s start building confidence by feeling the way we want, thinking the way we want, walking and talking in a way that aligns with who we are and who we envision, not who the world says we are by handing us a box to fit in.

Build that confidence to be you; build that practice of being you and be confidently you as a result. This is how we build our dream life where inner peace reigns and our dream selves resides.

May your mind be renewed, your faith be strengthened, and your peace be anchored in Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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