What You Need to Know About Being on Your Self-Discovery Journey

The journey of self-discovery is a journey that is transferred into the way families, communities, and humanity as we know it operates. The success or lack of success in a relationship is determined by the individual selves involved. What is inside will always manifest outside. Our words, emotions, and actions align with the self we are inside at any given moment.

The self-discovery journey is crucial because these are the selves that make up families, communities, humanity, and the world. The starting point of our relationships is ourselves.

Whatever our relationship is with ourselves, how we love and feel about ourselves will be how we love or feel in our relationships with others, whether those relationships are platonic or not.

So, it is important to have our true self discovered so that everything else that’s not truly us can be tuned out for the betterment of true connection and intimacy in relationships (with others and ourselves). The self-discovery journey is inevitably for the love of others especially.

It is imperative to understand that in order to love our lover and offspring and loved ones in deep and blissful ways, we must first possess those feelings within ourselves, that is, we must feel those blissful feelings towards ourselves. Having these good internal realities within us is having the Source of them all, God Almighty, living in us. There is no goodness outside of Him. 

This is the only way we’ll love in truth and freedom because we will have the Source of that love within us, as opposed to not having the Source and depending on insecure outward forces that create inner insecurity as well.

The self-discovery journey comprises acceptance, introspection, healing, and establishing a new sense of self in our body. After the healing and a renewed sense of self that must be actively established, the self-discovery journey will blissfully operate on autopilot throughout our lives as we’ll have more and more experiences (moments) and emotions.

How to Discover Yourself

Surrendering to the fact that we have pain and flaws and all (from the pain) loosens us from the power the pain has.

The power that the pain has over us exists because we are running away from it and deny it any reality of being felt, so it becomes a tormentor and the longer it stays (is unfelt) the more it grows (establishes), especially growing into worse than it originally was, possibly.

So, only through the Spirit of God, for He is the only Healer and Comforter, feel your unprocessed feelings because they are only information like data that updates you on current (or old) affairs mentally and emotionally.

Once we have accepted the realities of inner pain, we are beginning our healing process. This is the pinnacle of the self-discovery journey. The actual reason for a self-discovery journey is so we can heal from all our pain and trauma, in order that we are able to leave the past behind and be in the present with a future not conditioned/intertwined with the past. A bright future without past pains, traumas, and fears. A bright future that means freedom from the past.

Achieving our goals and dreams with open wounds and sore bruises emotionally and mentally will bring our goals and dreams down to the level of the pain. Our dreams will be realised in a reality of pain and hurt, and we don’t want to get to where we’re going only to find out that nothing has changed.

In the same way that our flesh can heal without our effort, is how God, who made the body, is the first and final Healer. And in the same way that we must tend and clean our wound(s), we must be an intentional secondary participant in our healing journey. Partnering with the Almighty, and whatever is in our power and ability to do, doing that part as our portion. For example, processing (feeling) the unprocessed emotions.

Our possessions are not our healer. In truth, from the time we’ll be feeling our unpacked (buried) emotions, we’ll have started our healing process. Knowing pain is pain and what caused it is the beginning of healing.

The introspection stage is the second stage where we will be looking within ourselves. Once we are aware of what is going on inside us, we will have realised all the pain in all its shapes and sizes. Pains from our childhood that have transformed into pains in our present.

Seeing in real time how we feel and why it feels like that, how we think and what those trains of thought are, how we carry ourselves in the world —which will be in relation to how we see ourselves and how we see the world, looking back into our childhood to determine where these things stem from, and how we think we want our future to look like.

Journal all these findings on paper. Find out the inner self-beliefs that have deep emotions attached to them thus making the beliefs rooted in you. Detach those beliefs by processing their emotions. Discover those deep emotions by simply asking, why do I believe this? What moment in my childhood may have convinced me of this, and what was I feeling in that moment?

Sit with those emotions by feeling them without shame or any resistance for a good while, even (especially) when it hurts, reminding yourself that it’s better they come out than stay in, all (imperatively) in the presence of the Holy Spirit within you.

After processing the negative (unhealthy) self-beliefs by processing the emotions that made those beliefs stick (within an appropriate timeframe—days or weeks), let go of those emotions and simultaneously be detached from the outdated beliefs that were rooted in pain, insecurity, and negativity. The detachment is automatic through truly understanding your pain(s) and past. A wise person once said, suffering stops being suffering once you know why you suffered.

Realize that these beliefs and emotions that made a home in you created your way of thinking (trains of thought).

Be aware that the roots that made you think negatively about yourself are uprooted, and therefore placing yourself in disagreement with any (outdated) thought that was inspired by those expired beliefs and emotions. Even if the thoughts persist, persist more in staying in disagreement with them. They will be habitual, so it’ll take a new habit for them to leave, and your disagreement will be that new habit.

A New State of Self

It is important to not just let go of the outdated, negative beliefs and emotions, but to also replace them with new positive beliefs and emotions, as emotions play the role of rooting the new beliefs. New beliefs and emotions can simply be the opposite of the old (negative) beliefs and emotions. Where we thought we were ugly and miserable, we teach ourselves that we’re beautiful and have joy in Christ, etc.

Because our new way of thinking will need a source, those new and improved positive beliefs, and their positive emotions will become that source. Thus, renewing our way of thinking (about ourselves, and inevitably about others), and creating new neuron pathways (new thinking and feeling pathways).

Being ever enduring in patience and persistent practice of detaching from the old and attaching to the new.

Being in the midst of our healing, we will consciously imagine our perfect (most adored) self and remember (embody) that image as motivation and a practice to renew ourselves because it will take effort, consistency, and patience.

Do also take a pen and paper and write answers to the questions, who am I, what makes me happy, what do I love, what do I want to do, etc. 

Moving on is the stage of your self-discovery journey which entails implanting a new sense of self within you. This self will be without pain. This self will be healed and free to be whomever they wish to be, therefore creating the dream self.

If we don’t create our dream self, how can we suppose that someone else qualifies to create a dream self for us, like society or the world? Certainly not.

As we were stripped of our identity, probably from a young age, now that we are grown we deserve to have a reestablished self (ourselves, who is a spirit), through the One who knows us best, our Almighty Maker.

You will now have a look at the answers you’ll have written down. You will now have scraped the bad from the good within yourself and begin to practice the good without the bad. The hard work doesn’t stop here it continues even more vigorously.

The only things you will practice here are the actions that align with who you said you want to be, and who you already are though you just have to actively practice being that person because they were stolen from you by pain and trauma.

Rewrite what that person does from morning till night, what they eat, and wear, and certainly how they feel and how they think. You will practice (do) only what is written on that paper until you do it well and effortlessly until these things are engraved by the wonderful force of habit. And then Walla!

You have established a new sense of self, the self of your dreams. Living as your true adored self. You will enter the final stage of the self-discovery journey, and that is the auto-pilot stage of your discovery journey where you will blissfully find new passions and likes and dislikes and loves unapologetically throughout the rest of your life. And remember, none of this is possible without God’s Holy Spirit; with His fruit of patience, this whole journey may take years, and with His guidance, those years will be you ever improving and establishing your dream self and life, never fretting. 

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