The Value of Intimacy in Relationships and with Yourself

Intimacy is the roots and depth of connections we have with others and ourselves. Roots meaning the depth of the encounter runs deep, away from the surface. In intimacy, we have a deep connection with ourself, other people, and God.

Intimacy involves the whole person, not just the emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual person separately, but an encounter with all these that a person is.

True Intimacy

Intimacy can be emotional as it contains expressed emotions, which makes it emotional intimacy. But how would we really be emotionally intimate with a person if we are not mentally intimate with them as well? The expressions of the emotional person are expressed through thought processes and words that come from the mental person (mind).

Intimacy in nature demands the whole person, for that’s its dwelling place. It is intimacy because we connect with the whole person not just a part of them.

Remember that to achieve true mental intimacy our mental person ought to be truthful because light is the absence of dark, and truth is the absence of a lie. Intimacy (deep connection) is light and good. A tree doesn’t have one root, it has many ropes of roots which all become the roots of the tree.

As tree roots, they can hold up and support the tree regardless of how long or wide the tree may be. We can practice kinds of intimacy, but these still require the whole person. We can have an intellectual conversation with someone and that can represent mental intimacy, which still requires emotion because we say what we believe because we feel it. What we think is inspired by how we feel.

We can pray to God or talk about the Almighty and have spiritual intimacy with Him or with a fellow believer in Christ that we are talking with. This may inspire emotions of affection and adoration as well as the thoughts inspired by these emotions. Pure intimacy is aware of itself as not being one rope of a root, but ropes making roots.

Practice intimacy either with yourself or another by connecting mentally with hearing (understanding) words, thoughts and tone. Connect emotionally by engaging with the emotional state, and spiritually by being aware that one is a spirit with a body, and through prayer and Scriptural meditation.

And physically by being physically there and nowhere else but the present moment. Our relationships depend on wholesome intimacy for them to survive and thrive.

Intimacy implies giving ourselves wholly and truthfully to a person. That is why relationships need intimacy to thrive. Intimacy is the air relationships breathe to be alive and well.

Loneliness and Boredom

Intimacy is the cure for loneliness because loneliness happens inside us. It’s a lonely world because the knowledge of true connection and actual intimacy is lost.

We don’t always need another to be intimate, that is, we do not need another to not be lonely if we have intimacy with ourselves. We need others to not be alone. Loneliness implies a lack of self-knowledge. Besides some serious cases, loneliness is like a sense of boredom within ourselves. Like we don’t know what to do with ourselves. That is why it is important to know ourselves, so we do not think there is nothing inside us that is worth giving our attention to. For in truth, intimacy starts within thyself.

Engaging with all parts of ourselves will keep us so preoccupied and entertained with ourselves, so much so that we will have no space for boredom. That’s how we can cure boredom.

We certainly do not depend on other people to not feel lonely, we depend on the relationship we have with ourself. Especially because it is very possible to feel lonely in a room full of people we love and care for. Self-knowledge is the cause of intimacy and the cure for boredom and possibly loneliness. The loneliness that is deeper can only be cured through healing. Intimacy with yourself will be how a need for healing to cure loneliness is revealed.

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